Things you should NEVER tell your mother!

As a mother of three boys, the word "no" comes up quite a bit at my house, in my car, and at every venue in Jackson county.
"No, you can't do your homework after practice."
"No, you can't take Tate down the street without me."
"No, you can't stay up to watch the new episode of Zack and Cody."

You get the picture. Unfortunately, it's not only i who frequently throws out the N-bomb; no, Tate has figured out that little word and though he can't say it yet, he KNOWS what it means and usually tries to ignore it whenever i use it.
"No Tate, stay away from the catfood."
"No Tate, hands don't go in the potty."
"No Tate, don't touch Daddy's phone, computer, remote, . . ."
And yet he does them all anyway, smiling the whole time.

And then there's the other two loves of my life, Tucker and Tanner. They give me as many no's as i give them.
"Have you brushed your teeth?" NO
"Are your shoes tied?" NO
"Are you wearing shoes?" No
"did you bring home your study sheet?"

So between me, Daddy, Tucker, Tanner, and Tate, No is one word we don't need any help with. Unfortunately, there are others, little retorts that sometimes make me shudder when i hear them. Phrases and responses that have mysteriously (thanks, Disney Channel) popped into my young boys' mouths. I try to warn them at first, hoping that after one stern look and threat of dismemberment, they won't ever use them again. My looks must not be so bad, because they keep popping up. So here goes: Top Ten things you should never say to your mother. Pass them along. Post them on your fridge. Warn the youngsters of today that had WE ever uttered these quirky remarks to our mothers and fathers, we would have been picking our switches from a backyard bush so fast our heads would have already spun.

10. (as we are getting into the car), Do we need shoes?

9. (as we are getting into bed for the night), "OOh, i need a posterboard!"
when? "tomorrow!"

8. (At the dinner table), I don't eat this.......... oh, really????

7. (when asking if a friend can come along), But his mom already said yes!

6. (after i do a smell check after bath or shower), you didn't say to use soap!

5. Y'all never let us . . . (when asking permission for something they
KNOW we'll never agree to.)

4. Mom, you are the coolest, best mom in the whole world (when asking permission for something they KNOW we'll never agree to.)

3. Mom, stop that; you're embarrassing me!!!! (When i'm walking through school saying hello to their friends, or when i'm dancing in the car to Cupid Shuffle.)

2. Mom, why do your arms shake like that? (while he points to my dangling tricep) Boo Tanner!

And finally, the one response these days that can turn an otherwise happy-go-lucky Mom (who had her run for the day) into a hot-tempered, finger-pointing, punishment-issuing drill sergeant:

1. Hold on!!! (when i ask you to take out the trash, bring me your homework, play with your brother, or stand on your head and spin, I mean now!!!!) I am too old to "hold on" and you are too young to even exercise that phrase.

Well, I feel better:)