As a good football wife (at least I hope I've earned that moniker), I've gotten used to the phone and its incessant ringing and permanent place in our household, at least during football season. I can do homework with the boys, tidy up the kitchen, direct children to baths and showers, all while picking up bits and pieces of football conversation as its hums through the house. I know which player runs the fastest 40, the players who took off a couple of plays last game, whose got the biggest gain in bench press so far, and whose GPA is off the charts. I'm used to the information, although I have no use for it other than to impress those fans around me as I deliver stats at just the right time in a game. For example, when player X breaks free of a tackle and races into the end zone, I can quickly mention the extra time he's been spending on speed tracks and all of a sudden I'm qualified to write for the paper. So, point being, there's a lot of football talk that goes on at my house. I guess I just didn't realize that some of that player discussion covers their off-the-field stats as well.
"Did you know Player A lives with his uncle?" I asked coach as we rehashed the game this morning. "Yeah, it works out best for him," and he goes on to regal me with the same facts and details I picked up last night in the stands that I had planned to reveal to him. Coach picked that same kid up most mornings this summer for workouts, always remarking what a great kid he is. I never guessed he might have a reason to be otherwise.
Through the grapevine that is the bleachers, I found out last spring one of our players was really struggling in a class, butting heads with the teacher and getting nowhere with his grades. I came to coach again with this "new" information, hoping to open his eyes to a need. This time, "yeah, we've got him taken care of. He comes to me during my planning period and gets his work done. He doesn't have to fuss with the teacher and he can concentrate on his work. He's doing better now."
One doesn't have to be a genius or a stadium gossip to know that there are plenty of kids these days who don't have "typical" family situations, moms and dads in the same house, or even parents who encourage them to participate in sports. Thus, many kids choose not to play sports either because they don't have the money, they don't have rides to and from practice, or they have to work to pay for their own meals, decisions no teenager should ever have to make. Again, the magic of eavesdropping: I overhear the coaches discussing the transportation schedule for the week. Coach (insert any coach's name here) takes the kids home Monday, next coach on Tuesday, next coach on Wednesday, until all players who need rides are safely deposited on a door step each evening after practice. I find out, too, that coaches are feeding their position players at their house on the night before games, and coaches are calling in favors from friends and churches to scholarship kids who can't pay player fees, but NEED to be part of a team. All this ON TOP of coaching 82 kids determined to have a winning season.
With each new season and with each new group of kids, I learn more and more that things aren't always what they seem. The kid who struggles in class and doesn't respect his teachers is the 15 year old who goes home and shoulders the burdens of an adult. The kid who won't look anyone in the eye and doesn't want a relationship with the coach is the one who needs a relationship the most. There are players who go to school, practice, wash their own clothes, hold down part time jobs, and take care of younger siblings, things some of us don't expect but also can't comprehend.
The same goes for the coaches. The coach that everyone says is heartless and only out to win is driving someone's kid to the doctor right now. He'll be sitting in on a parent teachers conference later this week, minus one parent. The defensive coordinator who yells too much and demands the unrealistic knows that Player A will only succeed if he is pushed. The coach whose head everyone wants at the end of a losing game prays for his players and his own duties and responsibilities as a coach.
Lord, help us all to remember that what we see isn't always the true picture and to try to see and love everyone, kids and adults, players and coaches, as You do. Open our hearts wider than our mouths.
Amen and GOOOOO Panthers!
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